Proving the point of HE...

As if I needed further proof that Home schooling is definitely a better route for children, I was today confronted with the perfect example of why mainstream schooling is failing in my opinion.
My 11 year old son was victimised online by a fellow student in his year at his school.
It was nothing neither he or I couldn't handle, but it still shocked me into such fury I had to take a timeout to calm down (several cups of tea and yes...some chocolate).

He likes to facebook every now and then, although he enjoys playing yahtzee on it more than chatting, and only has a handful of friends. However, he does like to post the odd picture of himself or other family members.

Anyway, he got a message on one of his photos, commenting - and I quote "you look like a 50 year old plumber".
Later the other child said that my son needed to "get a style" and that he didnt have any friends, and that he also hangs around with weird people.

What is happening to our children when they begin to find it acceptale to talk like this to their peers?

My sons 'style' is something he in fact takes great pride in. He doesnt like to wear tracksuits, or sporty type clothing, feeling more comfortable in proper shirts, jumpers and jeans. Before we moved here he enjoyed wearing floral patterned shirts - like Richard Hammond, or James May - but has since told me of how he gets accused of being girly when he does so now. Sadly, he no longer feels comfortable in them.

I dont think it is anyones right to judge another person by what they are wearing, or how their face or hair looks, how they talk or what interests they have etc. It shows little to no respect for diversity, and an exceptionally shallow personality. I have brought my children up differently to this. I dont ilke them to fold to social expectations and peer pressure just because it is easier to do so.

I have tried to teach them to be themselves as much as possible without fear of reprisal. It is just such a shame that so many other parents fail to do the same.

It is little wonder that we live in such a 2 dimensional society. Our children are taught to be the same as everyone else, to blend in, to not stick out for any reason, to conform to what is generally seen as socially acceptable. They are constantly bombarded with the ethos that being the same will ensure them sucess. that those who play by the rules will be accepted over those who like to bend them - or indeed ignore them completely. 

Now, I am not talking about rule breaking, of course there are rules in place within society that are universally accepted as being correct. Stealing, fighting, and everything in between are a definite no no, and this has also been instilled in our children from an early age. They have great respect for adults and figures of authority in general. They have impecable manners, and have never let us down when we are out and about.

But, I believe that stringently following the herd actually causes more harm than good in the long term, and so have always told them to follow their beliefs, to enjoy their interests and to be proud of who they are...exactly the way they are. 

watching how much enjoyment this other child derived from name calling was saddening. Do they really have that little else going on in their lives and heads, that they muct resort to name calling for amusement?

Do they really have such eventless lives, that they must create activity through any means possible be they good or bad, simply to feel as though they are experiencing something?

These children will more than likely do very well for themselves at school, gaining several qualifications along the way, and probably ending up in fairly well paid jobs, surrounded by equally 'successful' people.

But I do not believe for one moment they will come out of their life experience complete people. There will always be something missing. Something lost from what could have been. Something which was repressed and swallowed down for the sake of being cool, or popular, or successful later in life. These are the things that they will recognise when it is too late to retrieve.

I want something different for my children. I want them to feel utterly comfortable and complete in their own skin. I want them to believe and know that it doesnt take popularity to achieve in life, and it doesnt take crowds of friends to make them someone.

Every day, I am proud of my children. I would walk over hot coals for any of them. And so it spurs me on to ensure that I am providing the very best that I can for each of them, remembering that each of them is different and deserves to be treated as such. It is not my job to mould them into what I think they should become, but rather to guide them towards realising that for themselves.