A day out with little'un

2 posts in one day...I must be either bored, or very organised. I haven't decided which yet.

Laurence and I visited a local Bird park a couple of days ago. Recently he has been a bit of a pain in the posterior - going through the terrible two's 18 months late - however, he thoroughly enjoyed himself, and we had a brill time together!

Watching the penguins is always guaranteed to get some laughs.

Laurence has also recently learned how to execute a forward roll..consequently, he forward rolls everywhere, with a total disregard for his own safety. Bless.   

Cheeky thing.












Suitable home for HE ??

I haven't been on for a while, because I've been busy. But as always things have been endlessly circling about in the caverns of my head.

Recently on another list someone asked the question 'what makes a good HE home'? I wasn't quite sure how to answer it. I personally don't think the quality of whatever education I provide for my child hinges that strongly on the accommodation I also provide for him.
I understand that during the course of the discussion, people were pointing out their preferences to either a large communal living space, or several rooms in which individuals could do their own thing. Some liked large gardens for outdoorsy things, others preferred amenities to be close by.
Some went into quite some depth about the whys and why nots pertaining to their answers.
I read through them, and came to another conclusion, which I am sure will no doubt ruffle some feathers. 
The way I see it, asking questions like that, planting such seeds of doubt into peoples minds, only serves to yet again, make HE families question their reasons and motives for Home Educating in the first place.
Now, I know what you are going to say...'that's not right, it was a simple question asking what people thought makes for a good environment to HE in blah blah'
The thing is, a large proportion of HE'rs are secretly paranoid - at least this is what I have discovered. They seem to feel the need to constantly defend their reasons and motives, and to almost defiantly stand by those beliefs, fearing a fall from grace should they actually change their minds about anything which may lead to their exclusion from the clique.
I have of course met some wonderful people, and find their views enlightening, helpful and honest. But sadly this does not extend to everyone I have met, who, quite catastrophically fall into the above mentioned category.

On the subject of homes..mine is adequate for it's purpose. I have a large family in a relatively small space. Downstairs is sufficient for various activities, but lack of space limits the number of people which can comfortably be in there at one time. We have a living kitchen - meaning that most of our actual living goes on in there. We cook, eat, learn, socialise, chat, gather, and play in there. It is the hub of our home. The garden is small, but more than enough for our younger family members. 
Sure, if given the chance, I would plump for a couple more bedrooms, an extra study downstairs and a much bigger kitchen. But I wouldn't be wishing that just to make HE easier.
If you are determined to Home Educate, then the last thing you should be worrying about is whether you have a suitable home to do it in (obviously if your home is nothing more than a damp cardboard box, then perhaps you have a point) because providing a suitable education for your child surely does not depend on how many bedrooms you have, or how large your living space is, or whether you have integral appliances in your kitchen...!

Half term...again.

So, it's half term, and I have a house full of kids all wanting to do different things. Which on the surface seems like absolute chaos, however, thanks to my psychic abilities, I had already predicted such a turn of events and have drawn up a rough schedule of activities which they can choose from.

They include:-
The Chedworth teen meet (We haven't been before, but I think it's worth going to meet up with some others their own age).
Batsford arboretum.
Any aviation museum - probably Moreton.
The obligatory visit to Funtime/Magicland.
B&Q 'kids can do it' session
Local maze
The Oxfordshire museum/Oxfordshire university museum of natural history (undecided which, yet, might as well do both if time allows).
Science Oxford live (depending on what events they have on).

Hopefully, with something planned - in theory - for each day, including plenty of home activities in mind, I should be able to stave off the usual screaming and shouting and arguing that results from bored pre-teenage minds who only concentrate on the weather outside and insist that there is nothing to do. 

As for Funtime, or Magicland, it should be a challenge taking Number 3 to either of them, especially when there is likely to be trillions of other kids all runnning about, as it is probable he will become over excited which then leads to the inevitable pushing, loud laughing and general loss of self-control.
This all usually ends up with me having to balance a 6 month old on one hip, and a 3 year old on the other, while trying to find the older boys inside a web of climbing material and sweaty tweens, to come out and give me a hand.

There is the very real chance that lunches all round will have to be purchased at extortionate prices, which invariably gets left because it is of such poor quality and generally tastes of cardboard, leaving me staring at half empty plates wondering why they complained about being so hungry in the first place.

Number 2 will end up cherry-faced and several pounds lighter due to how much he sweats. Number 1 will spend the entire journey home talking about what he has been doing and the intricacies of how the structure was made. Number 3 will - thankfully - collapse and sleep on the way home, and poor little number 4 will no doubt sit in his car seat wondering what on earth just happened!
I, on the other hand, will look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards, make-up and hair askew, dribble stains on each shoulder, and probably missing a button or two, with nothing more than a constant hum in my ears from sitting in excessive noise for several hours.

The journey home will seem to take only seconds, and within five minutes of actually getting home, the kids will start arguing, asking for food and wanting to know what is happening tomorrow.

All Good fun then...Can't wait !!


Loz

The TV debate

Recently, Channel 4 has put on some really interesting and educational programmes which Ethan and I have enjoyed watching, these include Rome Wasn't Built In A Day, http://www.channel4.com/programmes/rome-wasnt-built-in-a-day 
and The Elephant: Life After Death http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-elephant-life-after-death

There seems to be a feeling among some HE families and mainstream families too, that the use of a TV is unnecessary, and actually hinders the learning process in their children. To some extent I agree with this. I certainly do not allow my children to spend countless hours sat goggle-eyed in front of pointless moving pictures and excessive sound.
I do however, believe there are many benefits to having a TV - if only for occasional use. The documentaries which I find are varied and almost invaluable when used as visual support to any written work Ethan may be doing.
Recent topics have included The Romans (which includes visits to Roman villas, aqueducts and Roman baths), general biology and geography, including life processes, plant and animal cell function, and how the environment affects change to both animal and human life.
I have been able to find good supporting material, which allows Ethan to see what he has learned via textbooks, and practical experience, and it gives him a psychological break from books and talking about something (in his own words).

I can understand some of the reasons behind not wanting to have a TV in the house. It can and does teach violence, bad language, narrow viewpoints on some aspects of society, and promotes lethargy in general. And I don't think we have to search too hard to find adequate evidence supporting this. 
However, I am an advocate of active parenting. That is not to say that everything I do is done with the use of a Lycra jumpsuit and excessive bouncing about, or midnight dances round an elm tree dressed only in leaves and twigs. No. Instead I opt for the harder route. I do not ban a TV from my house. I see that as the easy option. Anyone can do that. Instead, I actively control what my children see and how much of it they see. 
There are 'no TV' times during the day, and at other times, it is only what I put on which is available to be watched.
Yes, it takes some planning, and vigilance (teenagers will always try to sneak a quick episode of Dr Who in when they think they can) but I believe it teaches them self control 
and responsible viewing...after all, when they eventually leave home for the big wide world I wont be there 24/7 will I?


Loz

A nice day.

We had a really nice afternoon today. Ethan went along to have some fun with Lego (big thanks to Heidi) and although he wasnt really in the mood, Laurence tried to enjoy his time at the park.
Both came home happy and contented, and satisfied that they had had a good day.
In stark contrast, Daniel came home, hurried through what he had been doing, then began fussing and whinging like an old maid, about what ingredients he needed for cooking tomorrow. He HAS to have baking powder, he HAS to have self raising flour, he HAS to have either chocolate chips or coconut.
To be honest, I don't mind, as long as the fairy cakes are edible enough for me to have one too. Watch this space.

On a lighter note, here are some lovely pictures of Laurence having fun at the park.



He was born to climb



Reaching the top



He loves the challenge of a puzzle



Rightfully proud when he gets it right.

No matter how much fun he may be having, there is always time to stop and say hello to Jo.






A familiar senario

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that if a child is not exactly as expected these days as far as mainstream school is concerned, they are likely to earn an adverse label of some sort.
For example, take my 3 and a half year old. He was a wonderful baby, and an even better 2 year old. We had no problems at all. Then a few weeks ago, he decided to change from a bubbly happy go lucky toddler to the pre-teen from hell.
He shouts back. Argues. Pulls the cats tail and has taken to throwing himself onto the sofa in miserable abandon when asked to do something - or indeed to stop doing something. 
It would appear that we have at last hit the terrible twos...albeit a bit later than expected. 
Now, I as a 4th time around mother can more than handle this, and have the necessary skills in place to A; ignore the unwanted attention seeking behaviour, and B; effectively teach him which barriers can be tested, and which certainly cannot. Thus educating him whilst allowing him to actually make some mistakes - which I think is vitally important.
However, it would appear that his pre-school, which he attends 3 mornings a week, is having difficulties in handling him (a story I am more than familiar with).
I will not be getting into the finer points of where why and how at this time, suffice it to say that I find myself on yet another soap box about something related to the school system in this country. I will simply be putting forth some questions with what I believe to be the correct answers next to them.

Q: Why can they not handle him?
A: Because he does not sit in one place, doing one activity, like the good robot he should be.
Q: Why is his behaviour at this time, a cause for concern?
A: Because it takes too much effort/time/knowledge/ability/money to actually educate/disipline children in pre-school settings these days, he is a strain on the system.
Q: What is the easiest way of handling the situation as far as the setting is concerned?
A: To ask the parents to cut down on the hours he spends there.
Q; What is likely to happen when he starts school?
A: He will most likely immediately be put on the SEN register.
Q: is this a course of action that is likely to help him?
A: NO.

From as early as pre-school, it is obvious that if certain children do not fit in to the desired pigeon hole of what the system deems 'normal' they face a long and hard road of segregation, labelling and prejudice ahead of them.
My sons shouts too much when he feels he is not being heard...He must have emotional problems.
My son throws tantrums when told to stop doing something he is enjoying, and is told to do something he has no interest in...he must need behavioural re-programming.
My son has a mind of his own, and enjoys testing the boundaries placed upon him by others ....He must be eradicated from the system and swept under the carpet before he realises his own voice!!!

For crying out loud!

When will the system learn to embrace children in all their glory, with all their differences? When they realise that those differences could make educating them so much more exciting? 

Anyway, today, Ethan is going to have a fun day playing with Lego at another HE family's house. He is excited about sorting out some of his favourite constructions and taking them along to show others..as well as actually helping some of the younger kids to explore their inner creativity.
Would he ever have had the chance to do something like that at school? No. He loves being around younger kids, and they gravitate towards him like something you have never seen..which is funny, because when he was at pre-school, we were told constantly that he was too loud, too aggressive and socially backward.
Sound familiar anyone?



Loz








  

The advantages of new legislation and better regulations...

...As far as I am concerned.

WARNING !!!
I am about to get on a soap box about something, avert your eyes if you are of an easily offended nature.

The 3 R's. Simple, basic and lets face it, essential if anyone is going to get anywhere in life these days.

Reading:- I love to read, so too do my children. It took some patience and some determination to get them to agree that reading a story as opposed to watching it happen in front of them on a screen, was fun, but eventually the joys of the written word were opened up to them.
We read a variety of material, from fiction, to research papers on just about anything that takes our fancy. The kids may not always understand what they are reading about, but then that naturally opens up a whole opportunity to find out about something new. To teach themselves something. To EDUCATE themselves.

Writing:- I absolutely abhor bad grammar and poor writing skills. It took hundreds of years for that basic privilege to reach the masses and I am not about to let such an important skill fall by the wayside now as far as my children are concerned.
I can remember as a child myself, being taught how to say 'schedule' properly, and how the beginning of the word starts with shed..not sked. Now, every time I hear an American or even worse, an English person utter skedule...it sends a shiver up my spine.
Therefore, I have instilled the same methods into my own children.
Ekscape, is another one..so too is haitch, for the letter H. There are others, but in truth there are too many to document here, and the listing of them isn't important to the point I am trying to make, which is this...I read other blogs. Other Home Educating blogs. Sometimes with ease and interest, other times with a squint developing in my right eye as I try to decipher exactly what the writer is trying to say.
It truly is a sad thing when ones poor speaking skills translate so literally into their writing skills. 

Arithmetic:- Learning how to use numbers and their relevance in everyday life, is vital. End of story. If I need to elaborate, then you have completely missed the point, and should indeed consider going back to school yourself. You certainly should not be contemplating the task of educating the next generation of society.
For this opinion, I offer no apologies. 


I was thinking about making some dramatic point here, about how I have seen other parents supposedly educating their children at home, but showing quite clearly that they are incapable of even teaching grass to grow. Their inability to string a coherent sentence together with correct spelling and grammar, is astounding.

Now, before someone gets all windy with me, I do in fact know about and accept that there are some who have a language barrier to overcome maybe, or even dyslexia to cope with. But it has to be said that these people are generally in the minority. (This is not a sweeping statement, and I give no impression of supporting evidence to my 'claim' which in fact is not actually a claim...so again, don't go there).

I will say only this in conclusion. If you are adamant that you are going to take on the responsibility of teaching your child everything they will need to know to become valued and useful members of society..then please make sure that you can accurately do so, without leaving any gaps..no...chasms in their education.

I think for anyone reading this, who absolutely gets what I am talking about, will also get why perhaps new legislation and better regulation of HE might not be such a bad idea, and perhaps why some who are obviously lacking in the above areas, might feel the need to get defensive when such a proposal is mentioned.


Loz

HE is NOT a status thing!!!

I have been thinking...(a rare but often momentous occurrence)
... This continuing debate about HE is beginning to bug me.
There are those who Home Educate because they believe it to be the best and only option available to their children. There are those who Home Educate because of circumstances beyond their control. Sadly, I have recently discovered, that there are those who Home Educate because they believe it affords them some kind of social status.
It is this misguided belief that some have, which has started to irritate me. 
Also..just for the record, I am not in the habit of name dropping, or indeed leaving a bread crumb trail behind me large enough for anyone to decipher whom I may be talking about. So lets not even attempt it.

Firstly, I need to state that I do not like what I have seen recently from some HE families. 
It would appear that Home Schooling is about how well some parents can 'do it'.
It is this ethos of competition which bothers me greatly. 

Is it not enough that when attending mainstream school, our children are constantly  compared to each other and constantly expected to reach certain targets against each other? Why then do I find that exact mentality occurring within the supposed safe environment of HE?

When I attend a quiet get-together, for a nice cup of tea and a chance to watch the kids playing together, I do not expect to be bombarded with talk of comparisons...I quite honestly do not care how many iGCSE's another parents child has. Or indeed, how many college courses they plan to take in the next year, or how many degrees they expect to have gained before their 16th birthday. 
And another thing, if I choose to work with my LA..that is my choice, and I do not expect to be told that I am making a mistake, and that I will regret even letting them in through the door.
I do not happen to have a problem with the LA. Because I have nothing to hide. 
Actually, I quite enjoy the opportunity to show them exactly what we have been doing, and what else we plan to do. 
I like to have things to show them because with that evidence before them they have absolutely no reason to suspect that I am not providing an adequate education for my child, and that I am in fact providing an education the LA could only wish to provide for children in mainstream schools.

It also gives my son the opportunity to defend his own reasons for being educated at home, and to speak for himself should he feel the need to do so.
This also goes a long way towards proving just how adequate his education is, which staves off the dreaded SAO, which so many other HE families go on and on about. 

It seems to me that the one thing I was so desperate to get away from, is still very much present within the Home Education community..and that is the clique mentality, which is especially so with those who strongly advocate child led autonomous education.
Now, just for the record, I have no problems with AE. I just choose not to take that route because it does not suit either myself, or my child. Not because I don't think it works, but because my son actively asked for more structured work to be getting on with.
It would seem that because of this decision, some would class my son as not being properly Home Educated. They would rather class him as being schooled from home. If that is the case, then I hold my hands up..yes, I school my child from home. Yes, I do have workbooks, and pens and pencils and exercise books. Yes, we do sit down at the table and discuss everyday events, politics, geography, history, mathematics and English. And yes...I do make him write things in his exercise books (Boo Hiss)...
..After all, there are only so many uses for willow baskets and weaving skills. And my son has neither, nor does he aspire to gain them.

Therefore, my final note on the subject is this, Home Educators..you must learn to live and let live.
The entire point of HE is that there are no guidelines to follow, no legislation, and no rules. the method and execution of it's delivery is the parents responsibility. Therefore, do not create so many negatives and restrictions which you then hide within the very infrastructure of it.

Loz

Bread and butter!

Recently, Ethan made homemade lemon curd, which he was very proud of, and we planned to make some bread alongside it. however, another HE parent suggested that we also have a go at making some butter, and to be frank...we thought it was a great idea. So we had a go, and were pleasantly surprised at the results.


Mixing the dough. Ethan wasnt over keen with the texture, but he kept on going.



Kneading the dough.



Leaving the dough to rise and double in size.



Daniel whisking the double cream...



 

Seconds after this picture was taken, it separated and sprayed the kitchen with buttermilk. We gave it to the cat for a treat.





A couple of hours later, and tea was ready.

And very tasty it was too!





Proving the point of HE...

As if I needed further proof that Home schooling is definitely a better route for children, I was today confronted with the perfect example of why mainstream schooling is failing in my opinion.
My 11 year old son was victimised online by a fellow student in his year at his school.
It was nothing neither he or I couldn't handle, but it still shocked me into such fury I had to take a timeout to calm down (several cups of tea and yes...some chocolate).

He likes to facebook every now and then, although he enjoys playing yahtzee on it more than chatting, and only has a handful of friends. However, he does like to post the odd picture of himself or other family members.

Anyway, he got a message on one of his photos, commenting - and I quote "you look like a 50 year old plumber".
Later the other child said that my son needed to "get a style" and that he didnt have any friends, and that he also hangs around with weird people.

What is happening to our children when they begin to find it acceptale to talk like this to their peers?

My sons 'style' is something he in fact takes great pride in. He doesnt like to wear tracksuits, or sporty type clothing, feeling more comfortable in proper shirts, jumpers and jeans. Before we moved here he enjoyed wearing floral patterned shirts - like Richard Hammond, or James May - but has since told me of how he gets accused of being girly when he does so now. Sadly, he no longer feels comfortable in them.

I dont think it is anyones right to judge another person by what they are wearing, or how their face or hair looks, how they talk or what interests they have etc. It shows little to no respect for diversity, and an exceptionally shallow personality. I have brought my children up differently to this. I dont ilke them to fold to social expectations and peer pressure just because it is easier to do so.

I have tried to teach them to be themselves as much as possible without fear of reprisal. It is just such a shame that so many other parents fail to do the same.

It is little wonder that we live in such a 2 dimensional society. Our children are taught to be the same as everyone else, to blend in, to not stick out for any reason, to conform to what is generally seen as socially acceptable. They are constantly bombarded with the ethos that being the same will ensure them sucess. that those who play by the rules will be accepted over those who like to bend them - or indeed ignore them completely. 

Now, I am not talking about rule breaking, of course there are rules in place within society that are universally accepted as being correct. Stealing, fighting, and everything in between are a definite no no, and this has also been instilled in our children from an early age. They have great respect for adults and figures of authority in general. They have impecable manners, and have never let us down when we are out and about.

But, I believe that stringently following the herd actually causes more harm than good in the long term, and so have always told them to follow their beliefs, to enjoy their interests and to be proud of who they are...exactly the way they are. 

watching how much enjoyment this other child derived from name calling was saddening. Do they really have that little else going on in their lives and heads, that they muct resort to name calling for amusement?

Do they really have such eventless lives, that they must create activity through any means possible be they good or bad, simply to feel as though they are experiencing something?

These children will more than likely do very well for themselves at school, gaining several qualifications along the way, and probably ending up in fairly well paid jobs, surrounded by equally 'successful' people.

But I do not believe for one moment they will come out of their life experience complete people. There will always be something missing. Something lost from what could have been. Something which was repressed and swallowed down for the sake of being cool, or popular, or successful later in life. These are the things that they will recognise when it is too late to retrieve.

I want something different for my children. I want them to feel utterly comfortable and complete in their own skin. I want them to believe and know that it doesnt take popularity to achieve in life, and it doesnt take crowds of friends to make them someone.

Every day, I am proud of my children. I would walk over hot coals for any of them. And so it spurs me on to ensure that I am providing the very best that I can for each of them, remembering that each of them is different and deserves to be treated as such. It is not my job to mould them into what I think they should become, but rather to guide them towards realising that for themselves.