The Home Education debate...

Ethan and Joseph

I am a firm believer in children receiving a good academic education. I believe it is a right and a necessary requirement in order to achieve anything in society. Take my brother for instance, he is 12 years my junior and already studying for a Masters Degree in order to attain his goal of becoming a journalist. He has worked tirelessly in recent years to do the best he can, and gain the grades he needs in order to stand out from the crowd - and lets face it, in the world of journalism, it's a busy and competitive crowd. 
However, I do think he is one of the lucky ones. He has a clear idea of what he wants for his future, and works efficiently and effectively towards it.  
My eldest son, Ethan, wants to be a computer games designer (or a film producer), and my next eldest wants to be in the police force. (The Gods alone know what surprises the other two will turn up in years to come).
So when I was approached by Ethan asking; 'why do I have to study certain subjects that have absolutely no relevance to what I want to be when I'm older?' I was stumped for an answer that he wouldn't immediately see straight through.
You see, although Ethan has Aspergers, he certainly does not have 'special needs'. In fact, I loathe that particular label. There is nothing special about being needy. And few with a disability would be all that happy about people assuming they are in need. On the other hand, 'particular needs' is far more realistic - in my mind anyway.
Mainstream schooling did not suit Ethan. Not because he has a disability, but because he has particular needs that mainstream schools simply could not provide for. Oh, they tried. They provided a special learning centre, away from the rest of the school, in a little hut with a huge plaque on the front for all the school to see reading 'special needs dept', and had after school homework clubs, and a safe place for 'special' kids to use as a retreat - should they need it, where they could eat their lunch away from the rest of the school - if they wish - and where they can get extra help with their classwork - if they wish, and where an on site support team (which you needed to make an appointment with to be seen) could be on hand should they need to discuss anything - if they wish.  
Needless to say, Ethan never felt comfortable taking advantage of these extra facilities, in his own words 'it's where all the divs go'.
So, that aside, here is the main reason for why school did not suit Ethan. It did not inspire him. 
Sitting for hour after hour, being spoken AT by the teacher, reading through countless exercise books, and watching endless power point presentations, just did not rock his boat. 
You see, Ethan understands alot more than he is at first willing to let on. But he enjoys discussing it..not reading about it, or watching about it. He likes to ask questions, join in a debate, brain storm, actively and physically demonstrate his thoughts on a subject. Things which schools just don't have the time to devote to. He would tell me of how, when sitting in class and after listening to the teacher explaining something in the least inspiring way, he would hold his hand up to ask a question. It would be ignored. He would continue to hold his hand up....eventually the teacher would spot him, he would put forth his question, but because the teacher had been in such a hurry to get onto the next point, his question would only be relevant to something she had been talking about five minutes ago. And because his mind had been concentrating on that question, he had subsequently missed all the other waffle she had been going on about since. Moments of ridicule and impatience were aplenty. So, Ethan switched off. In his mind, if people were too busy to teach him, then he was too busy to learn. 
That's not to say that he suffered at school, or got damning reports or that we watched his grades slowly slip into the pit of educational abandon, never to be seen again, he did quite well, and muddled on. But he was loosing enthusiasm - and that's never a good thing.
So, between the three of us (hubby, Ethan and myself) we opted for Home Education. We made all the necessary arrangements, wrote what seemed like a hundred letters to a hundred different places, and made the leap into the unknown.
Some will inevitably be thinking 'if he was getting on OK, why change?' well, they say the proof is in the pudding, and since taking him out of school, he has become more receptive towards subjects that would otherwise have bored him. Everything is tailor made to a way he finds interesting - in fact, he pretty much chooses what he wants to do. That's not to say he chooses everyday to sit in front of the TV - not in this house! Quite the opposite, he gets excited about what things I have planned, the places we are going to visit, the projects he is going to do. He even takes pride in how he presents his work now, striving to make his handwriting better, his grammar more correct, and actually employing the correct techniques to make his work flow better. 

We chose not to go with a formal attitude. He doesn't sit down for long periods writing, or listening. He doesn't read through text books or make reams of notes. Instead we discuss things. we create experiments or projects to reflect what we have discussed, and he has shown a surprising interest in history along the way - something he hated at school.                                                                                                        
I do have a mountain of 'proper' text books, CGP and Letts workbooks, practise papers and revision guides, but they are mostly for my use to make sure some of the more important subjects are being covered at the right pace, and to provide ideas for study etc. He does want to take his GCSE's, and he does want eventually to go to University, so we know we have quite the hill to climb to get him there. But we will. Adversity has no place in this family, and if it tries to poke its nose in, we soon send it packing.
I understand others thoughts on this decision, and I will always be willing to listen to advice and rethink as needed, but I am also prone to making my mind up and sticking with it - and on this occasion, I believe it is the best decision for Ethan, and thankfully, he agrees.


Daniel making chilli con carne



I have even introduced Ethan and Daniel to the delights of cooking, as I believe it is just as important to teach kids how to live in the real world, and not just how to study it. So many kids leave home only able to cook something which requires nothing more than a few microwave buttons being pressed, I want to make sure that my kids can cook healthy, homemade fare, which costs just pence, but tastes amazing.

As for the social side of it - something which many have concerns about - Ethan has made more friends in the last five months, than in his previous 10 years! kids are always knocking on our door asking for him, and he spends every evening socialising with them. He plans to join the Army Cadets in the village along with a friend, which I am thrilled about. Not that I would seriously want any of my children going into the Army - not these days - but to have the opportunity to do things which would otherwise be closed to him, is important. To learn how to work as a team, to have fun, and to develop a sense of personal achievement far outweighs any frivolous academic pat on the back.

So, in a nutshell, that is the reason why for us, Home Educating is the way forward.
I have a lot to think about these days as far as my kids education is concerned. Laurence (3 years old) is due to start school next September - which I think is way too young - and I am not sure if he will be ready for it. But time will have to tell on that one.

Anyway, at the risk of this becoming a depressive dialogue, I think that's enough on this matter for now. The smaller details are unimportant to the issue so I'll not bore you into a comatose state by going on about them.
Suffice it to say, that it is a huge issue, and deserves far more public interest than it currently has, and far more government backing than it currently has. But for now, I am happy just making sure Ethan gets the education he wants, and that he continues to enjoy it. 

Later, we are cooking marble cake with Laurence...should be great fun!